RAWESOME!!!!

Something both raw and awesome just happened. The brand new Transformers cartoon premiered today (Cartoon Network, Saturday morning). That's the raw part. The awesome part is that it's set in Detroit!! They just got a viewer for life.

What the hell is going on?

Going to this link:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ck14LKBI9GM&feature=related

may cause you to question everything you ever thought you knew about anything. Keep in mind that it is an ad for Orangina, an orange soda beverage.

National Cathedral

I went to the National Cathedral a bit ago, check it out.

Judy Would Be Proud

Go listen to "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole on his album "Alone In IZ World". Do it. Thank me later.

I'm All Better Now Thanks To Avenue Q

If you read my last entry you know that I was a little, let's say, upset. Well that has been cured by...............................................MUSICAL THEATER! I know, I know, bear with me. A new friend of mine here in VA is able to get free tickets to just about any show in the area and she took me to see Avenue Q last night.

If you haven't heard of it before it's won a few Tony's and deserves more. It's a mix of real people and puppets that are supposed to remind you of Sesame Street -- if Bert and Ernie dropped the F-Bomb and sang songs like "Everyone's A Little Bit Racist" and "The Internet Is For Porn".

The show was an absolute riot, I laughed for 2 hours straight. I highly suggest seeing it if you ever have the chance. Every time one of the songs pops into my head I get a little smile. It was just a fantastic show.

I'm all better now, thanks.

Short But Sweet (you'll get that later)

Here's the newest entry to my gustatorial adventures:




Wait for it.......................................................................................................









It's so tiny! Get it? Short but sweet! You didn't think I'd give you a regular old pineapple did you? First baby corn, now baby pineapples. Personally I'm holding out for bite-size watermelons.

I Got Gas

Two days ago I bought gas for the first time in about 70 days. Just thought I'd rub it in.

Do I look helpful to you?

Everyone at work keeps asking me questions, why? Do they think that I have been there longer than them. Did I go to a class they didn't? STOP IT!! Especially Mr. Unibrow Lazy-eye. That is not a good combination, just drag your knuckles back to your cubicle and figure it out yourself you peach sucking troglodyte! It's hard to get anything done when someone's standing in front of you half the time.

That being said, I'm still way ahead of the rest of the folks in my Lab. I'll be done with my 2nd case by the end of the week and the rest of them will barely be done with their first. That's right, I'm awesome. Also, it looks like I'll be able to come home for X-mas, I just have to figure out the timing.

Also, I am writing this on my new computer. I will give a review of Windows Vista once I've had a while to play with it.

Met my new boss

Last week we all took a field trip to go meet the people who will be our bosses once we graduate from the training academy. Turns out my guy is pretty nice. I showed him the case I had been working on and he seemed generally pleased with it so that made me feel pretty good. It's nice to know that I'm on the right track.

I also found out that one of the classes of inventions that I will be researching is perpetual motion machines. I can hardly wait until I see my first one of those.

Greatest Christmas movie on the way

I just had what I would call a very interesting movie going experience but before I get to that I have to tell you about possibly the greatest Christmas movie ever that is coming out this year, Christmas day. I think the producers timed the release perfectly. The movie is Aliens Vs. Predator - Requiem. The tag line is "In space, no one can hear you scream. On Earth, it doesn't matter." It's gonna' be great.

Anyway, on with the weirdness at the theater. I decided to see a horror double feature, Saw IV followed by 30 days of night. When I got into the theater for Saw IV, this guy had his 3 kids with him. Now keep in mind that this movie is basically about torturing people in graphic detail and I kid you not, at least one of those kids wasn't even alive when the first Saw came out. Then, It got even weirder, I saw a couple come in with at kid that wasn't alive in January! No kidding, an infant. I know this because Mom brought in a blanket so that she could breast feed during the movie. Now, I'm no psychologist, but if you ever were suckling on your Mother's teat while watching people get torn limb from limb there's probably not a whole lot of hope for you growing up to be a socially well adjusted person.

Another weird thing happened during both of these movies. Usually when people were being tortured or killed, the audience was laughing. It's like they had no empathy whatsoever. It's a bit distressing when an audience's reaction to a horrific torture scene is not to cringe and possibly think about what that character is feeling while being both mentally and physically put through the wringer (literally in one case), but to laugh. Granted at one point they were laughing at Josh Hartnett, but his acting wasn't that bad!

So, the rule is, if you're going to be a parent, don't do it in Virginia - it might make you retarded.

Where's the dove with the olive branch already?

I got to Virginia on September 2nd and until 2 days ago it hadn't rained except for about 3 minutes one night. As of right now, it has been raining for 3 days straight. I don't mean on and off rain either, it has been raining every minute of every hour of the past 3 days. It goes between a downpour and a sprinkle but it's always raining. I brought my power tools with me, they're in the closet, so if I need to build an ark I'm ready.

Day I stopped counting -or- Is it possible to quantify awesome?

At work we have been working on our first Office Action. An Office Action is a patent examiner's (me) response to a patent application. We basically point out to the applicant the mistakes they made and why or why not their idea deserves a patent. Well, when you write this Office Action, a lot of the paragraphs have become so standard that you essentially copy and paste them into the document, other things you have to write yourself.

The hard part about these things is that it is a legal document which means that you have to be very careful about the words and language you choose to use. It actually does make a difference whether the examiner (me) or the applicant chooses to use the word "a" or the word "the". Needless to say, I was a bit nervous about writing one of these.

You begin with a blank page and dozens if not hundreds of these pre-written paragraphs to choose from. You not only have to decide which paragraph is the correct one to use based on what you found in the application but you also have to be able to say why it is the right paragraph. Our trainer said "Go write it up." so I jumped in.

I was very nearly done with it when the trainer sent us all an e-mail telling us to come to his office some time today and show him what we had written, I was the first one in his office. He looked it over and to my surprise he said it was of "Acceptable Quality". Now, that may not sound like much to all of you but that is the standard he told us to shoot for and I got it on my first one! He noted some minor mistakes that I needed to fix and told me how to fix a couple of areas that I had questions about but all in all, he said that it was a good Office Action. I was pretty damn proud to hear that.

Just a little side note, for those of you who think you are paying my salary, you know who you are and if you don't your names are Kelley, Jeff, Don and Gail, you're not paying my salary. The US Patent and Trademark Office is the only government institution that is totally fee funded. That means that all the money we use comes from the folks who pay to file a patent - so much so that once in a while Congress asks us for some. So there!

Day 24

Somewhat uninspired today. Just feeling kind of tired. I got up at 4:30 to go get fresh donuts to sell at work for a charity drive that we are in the middle of. The thing that stinks is that the last dozen didn't sell so there wasn't that much profit in it. Oh well, I guess every little bit helps.

There was a notice on my door when I got home asking for more tutors for a local school. Since I have tomorrow off I think I will go and apply to be a math tutor. Hopefully it will be fun. It's only once a week so I should be able to handle it.

Like I said, uninspired, so I'm gonna' take off.

Day 23

I know, I know, I missed a day. You're just going to have to learn to overcome adversity. So here's what happened yesterday, I woke up to this:
I know, it looks like it's rotting (for definition of "it" see previous post). Wait, it gets better:


They break off like little tiles, this thing is amazing!! Since the tag said that the flavor is a cross between banana and pineapple I tried to break it like a banana -- no dice. The thing has a hard inner core so I ate it like corn on the cob. I have no idea if the core is edible or not. Here's the aftermath:



The tag was absolutely right about the flavor, the thing was delicious. It was also very, very acidic. My lips were stinging for minutes after I finished but it was totally worth it. Warning from Wikipedia: "When it first flowers, the fruit contains so much oxalic acid that it is poisonous, causing immediate and painful blistering and irritation, swelling, itching, and loss of voice. It takes a year for the fruit to ripen, at which point it is safe to eat." You've been warned. The sweetness of the banana and pineapple flavors outshine the acid. Once the tiles were off I could kind of make out that there were cells (for lack of a better word) of the flesh underneath, packed tightly together like an ear of corn.

It was also dry to the touch like when you first peel a banana but it was extremely juicy after I bit into it. Also, be prepared to floss. The individual "cells" of the fruit flesh are very good at getting between the teeth. All in all I would recommend it, though they are kind of expensive (mine was $4.99 though you may find them cheaper).

I don't know what you could make with it (I'm no cook). Keep in mind the high acid content if you try and cook with it, the acid may screw up whatever you are making unless the original recipe calls for a citrus fruit, then you'll probably be fine.

I'll keep trying to find weird stuff at the market, it's fun.


"Eating the weird, odd, and downright creepy so you don't have to since 2007"

Day 21

First of all, Don, I got your e-mail. I just have to find DoTM and update it before I can send it to you.

For the rest of you, let's forget work for a while. Here's a new piece of weird fruit for you.


The banana's there for a size comparison (the banana's about the length of my hand). It's called a monstera. Seriously. Don't believe me? Check the tag.



Now check out the weird hexagonal scales.





The tag says "The Delicious Monstera (monstera deliciosa) Monstera tastes like a cross between banana and pineapple. Use in salads, with cereal, drinks, shakes, sauces and a variety of desserts. Please wait for exterior green scales to fall away naturally then enjoy the creamy white flesh inch by inch. A tropical delight!"

No joke, that's what it says word for word. I'll let you know how it goes.

Day 20

Today in my lab we had to break into groups to discuss a few hypothetical patent applications but I got the guy who's straight outta' school and wants to talk about video games above all else. I'm all for the v.g. confab but you're at work. You're supposed to work. That's why they call it work.

Knowing that yelling at somebody is unprofessional, I kept my cool and calmly asked him to return to the matter at hand, which he did. Unfortunately he was doing a half-ass job of it. Not to mention all he did was talk while I was trying to read the material -- very annoying. No matter, our trainer cut us loose early so everything is cool.

Day 19

Today was kind of weird. We had a lecturer in our lab and she's been there before but I think she was high the whole time today. First off, she was just acting odd, asking us questions about stuff she hadn't taught us yet. She would just sit there waiting for an answer and we had no idea what she was talking about. The thing that topped it off though is that she didn't know how to spell "relay". You know, like the race, or what you do with a message, or an electromagnetic switch. That was just plain odd.

Then, this one guy in the class was answering a question of hers and in his answer he needed to use the word apparatus but he pronounced it really weird. Phonetically it was "uh pair uh tiss". I'm not kidding. Then she said it correctly in her response to him and another trainee said it correctly but he insisted on saying it as though his lunch contained lead paint.

Luckily, our speaker at the end of the day was a guest lecturer and he was very entertaining. He left us feeling pretty good about what we were doing there and he was funny to boot. Altogether a fairly odd day.

Day 18 (I Love To Debate!)

I got my first paycheck over the weekend and man, did it feel good to pay some bills! One day last week I got a call from Discover, Student Loans and the mortgage company for the house in Detroit (the damn thing still hasn't sold yet)!

Now, I just have to basically make double payments on everything forever. Actually, I am hoping to be very nearly clear of credit card debt in a year's time. Unfortunately I can't do the same with my student loan -- that one may take a while.

I finally got to start on a patent application for real today -- there's so much to do. Fortunately though, a lot of the writing is prewritten, they call it a form paragraph. You just insert the correct form paragraph and then fill in the appropriate blanks, it's a pretty awesome system. The hard part is searching the huge database for previous inventions that match the application. I'm just learning as much as I can.

Had a fun little debate/spirited discussion with my trainer today. I had a question about something and couldn't get a straight answer out of him, he kept going off track. It took almost 40 minutes for me to craft the question so finely that he understood exactly what I wanted answered and yet the question didn't allow him to elaborate. We got there eventually and then everything was crystal clear to me. It was fun.

Day 17

So over the long weekend I decided to check out the George Washington Masonic Memorial. It's very near the apartment and I wanted to try and figure out all the secrets of the Freemasons. Well, needless to say, there are no secrets -- at least that's what they've been programmed to tell me.

It was a very impressive building. It's a giant 9 story tower and when you get to the top after riding an elevator that is at a 7.5 degree angle (the building tapers to the top) there's an observation deck. It's pretty awesome, you can see the Capitol from there as well as the Washington Memorial.





You can see more pics here

Day 14

Today, I found out about my new scheduling opportunities. Right now we are on the 5/4/9 schedule. What that means is that in a 2 week pay period (a bi-week) in the first week we work 9 hrs Monday - Thursday and have Friday off and then the next week we work 9 hrs Monday - Thursday and then 8 on Friday. Pretty sweet right? Tomorrow is my first Friday off and then we have Monday off for Columbus Day, so 3 weeks in and I get my first 4 day weekend.

In a couple of months, the 4/10 schedule will be available to us which means 4 days a week, 10 hrs a day and you get to choose if you want Monday, Wednesday or Friday off! That's pretty much the best schedule I've ever heard of. Not much else, just thought I'd rub it in by telling you all how great this job is so far! There'll be no day 15 or 16 updates about work because I have those days off. Ha ha (a la Nelson Muntz).

Day 13

No real news from work (aced another quiz though). This is the first week of our new schedule though. That means I get Friday off. We also get Monday off because of Columbus Day -- my first 4 day weekend!! I thought about coming home to Michigan but it's a pretty serious drive. Essentially 2 days of that 4 day weekend would be spent driving so I think I'll pass.

I'll probably spend more time in DC, I still have to go see the Natural History Museum, that's pretty much a full day right there.

I found a post in my building asking for tutors for elementary kids that I think I might do. Maybe those years spent pursuing a degree in Elementary Education won't be wasted after all! If I decide to do it I'll let you know how it goes.

Day 12 (PHOSITA)

Well, I have learned my longest acronym to date and thank goodness because they kept saying this phrase and printing it over and over again. PHOSITA = Person Having Ordinary Skill In The Art. In this sense, "Art" is the particular discipline you work in. For example, if you were checking patent applications in the Bio-Tech arena then a PHOSITA would likely have a Ph.D., but if you were checking a patent application for guitar picks then a PHOSITA might only have a high school education.

It's one of the tests we use to help determine if the applicant has given us enough so that a PHOSITA would be able to re-create their invention. If not then they don't get the patent. We use PHOSITA for a few other tests too but you're already bored so I'll stop here.

Day 11

I had my first meeting for the CFC today. It's a campaign to raise money for 3600 charities through federal employee donations. Amazingly it raised 59.9 million last year. Pretty cool to be a part of it -- Just pile on the responsibility!! I can take it!

It should be pretty cool, I'll get to meet all kinds of people in the USPTO because I need to go and beg them for money. Unfortunately, I had to miss part of a lecture to go the the CFC meeting today, but I'll catch up, don't worry about it.

Day 10

I forgot to tell you all that I learned a new term yesterday, you might want to sit down for this one... insoluble ambiguity. What do you want from me? It's the feds, that's my only explanation. It essentially means that the subject (phrase, sentence, paragraph or collection thereof) is so unclear that no matter which way of many that you choose to interpret it you are still unsure of its meaning. Hope that clears it up for you.

One thing about this job that I think I am really going to enjoy is that you get to argue semantics with lawyers. What the patent applicant means doesn't really count for much, it's what he/she writes down in their application that counts. If they meant it but didn't write it down then it doesn't count. We get to argue the difference between "a" and "the". I know I've done my job if the lawyer starts to get mad at me. I can't wait!

Day 9

I volunteered for something today that I know nothing about. It's something about fund raising for some charity but I have no idea what. All I know is that everybody in the lab was mum when our trainer asked for a volunteer. I just looked around at these sad sacks and thought what the hell? It's just new, it's not scary, get over it.

All that is supposed to start on the 1st. That's on top of all the lectures that we are taking not to mention I started going to the gym at my apartment complex every day. Things are getting really busy but that's good.

The only bad thing so far is that we don't get our first paycheck until the 11th. I'll just have to tough it out until then. Buy stock in Ramen Noodles.

Day 8

I aced another test today only proving what a fluke yesterday was. Also figured out what kind of production is expected out of me. None right now since I am in training but come week 9 they expect 80% of 70% of someone who's 3 promotions ahead of me. What do you want? It's the government. Don't matter, I am gonna' try and give them 110% anyway, it will help me get all primed up for my first promotion in 6 months and then another one 6 months after that and if I keep up that pace of 110% then 2 years from now I'll be at that level that is 3 promotions ahead of me.

That's one of the great things about this place, you don't have to wait for someone to die in order to get a promotion. If you meet the requirements, you get the job no matter what. I also have 20 cases on my docket already but I can't look at them yet, just their titles and numbers (don't ask me for either, I can't give them to you. ttyl

Day 7 (I am a Failure)

Ok, so I'm not really a failure but it got you here so read on intrepid explorer!!

Every once in a while, we have to take a quiz based on our lectures and we had 2 today to make a total of 4 so far. Well, on the first one I got 33% -- that's not a typo, 33%. In my defense, it was a very poorly designed test and I'm not saying that just because I did so poorly.

First -- Not one of the 9 questions had anything to do with either the lecture or the notes we were given in reference to the lecture. It was like you studied the 50 states and their capitals and the first test question was about the volume of a cylinder (I know, I know, Pi*r^2*h but relax, this is just an example).

Second -- There were so many typos it was almost unreadable.

Third -- In the 9th question, there was text that was meant to help with questions 5-9 but you weren't aware of this until you got to question 9, which meant of course that when you got to question 9 you had to go back and rethink everything starting at question 5.

It was a horrible, horrible quiz and everybody thought so. The worst part is that there is reason to believe that the last class complained about the same things and they never reviewed it. Good news is that these quizzes don't really count for anything as far as I can tell.

Just to prove that it was the quiz and not me, here are my results for the 4 quizzes:

Quiz 1 - 85.5%
Quiz 2 - 100%
Quiz 3 - 33.3%
Quiz 4 - 100%

You ask anybody and #3 is a statistical anomaly, an outlier way past 3 sigma, you can throw it out and everything is cool. Never mind that you need at least 30 results to do that.

And now for something completely different:


Check out my super sweet work station

Pretty swank.

Here's my neighbor's with one of the monitors turned for document viewing:

And, just for Jeff, the thing comes with a 3.4GHz processor.

Day 6

We got our harassment talk today -- Don't be skeevy. It took them an hour to tell us that and I already knew it so I was pretty bored. They did tell us how to properly read a patent application though so that was pretty important.

I should be able to see my first 5 cases tomorrow so I am pretty excited about that. I also found out what department I am in but at this point it is only a number, I don't know what it means yet. I hope to figure it out in the morning.

We got to see the pay scale for 2007 as well and it turns out that I am eligible for 2 accelerated promotions which means that I can get 2 promotions in the next year. Pretty good stuff. Hopefully more good stuff tomorrow.

Dragon Fruit: Not just what they used to call pink dragons.

So this is a dragon fruit:


I saw it in my local Harris Teeter's grocery store and figured what the hell? I like weird stuff. I had no idea what it was going to taste like so I thought I'd put the results here in case anyone else was interested.

Slaying the dragon:

So the inside looks a lot like a kiwi except white instead of green. There are probably thousands of seeds inside this thing and it seems really juicy.




Scooping and what happens when you drop said scoop:

It scoops just like a kiwi, maybe even a little easier. It doesn't seem to be as fibrous as a kiwi is, not as firm. You can tell because when I dropped my scooped piece on the plate, seeds went flying everywhere.

The taste is very mild, somewhere between a pear and a kiwi with maybe a little watermelon mixed in there. I have no idea how to tell when they are ripe, I guess I just got lucky.



The aftermath:


I ate the insides all the way down to the skin but it started to lose flavor on the way. The first scoop was the sweetest. Also, from the inside, the skin is brighter than the outside.

Well, that's my review of the dragon fruit.
Advice for the day: Try something new, you might just like it.

Day 5

Well, two historic events as of this morning. First, it was the first time ever I shaved 5 days in a row and second, it was the first time ever I went to work for a whole week and didn't drive one day! The apartment offering that shuttle is a stroke of brilliance. I hope whoever thought of it got a raise.

Anyway, it was a pretty good week. The biggest hurdle is figuring out the life insurance, health insurance and retirement plan. I guess that's what the weekend is for. I gotta figure out what else to do for the weekend too. I'm gonna' call Bill's brother-in-law who lives in the area and see if we can get together somewhere/time. I'll be sure and let you all know how the weekend goes.

Day 4

Nerds on Patrol
L to R
Alex, Kwing, Yours Truly (accept no substitutes), Jorge, Dan, Ernesto, Ali, Amene, Janine, Scott, Jason, Tom, Sizo and Quinn.

So the little play went fine today, they all laughed in the right places so I guess that's good. BTW the picture was taken by our instructor (George Nguyen) in the lobby of the main USPTO building.

Not much else to report, there won't be any new projects this week. We spent most of the day in lecture today and will do the same tomorrow. We gotta learn about a bunch of laws: 35 USC 101 tomorrow and then 35 USC 102, 35 USC 103, and 35 USC 112 after that. There's a bunch of other stuff that doesn't mean anything to any of you thrown in there for good measure.

Day 3

Well, since the lawyer was coming in today we all had to wear a suit and tie and pick 4 people to represent our position on the patent application (we rejected it). Well, 2 of us wanted to do it just for the experience (I was 1 of the 2) and it was like pulling teeth to get the other 2. We were basically begging people to join us. Everybody's standard answer was "Well, I'll do it if nobody else wants to." Sissies.

Anyway, we got 4 and the attorney came in and he agreed with some of our arguments but disagreed with others. He was throwing around terms that of course none of us were familiar with (talk about deer in headlights). Well, turns out he wasn't an attorney at all but a USPTO employee. Haha! Big funny! Whatever, now we had an opportunity to learn even more from him.

After all that nonsense we found out that we needed to present what we had learned to all groups (8 of them) tomorrow morning -- we also found out that it didn't have to be dry. They wanted funny, a skit, a song, anything to liven it up. So of course I take the big pad of paper (think Win, Lose or Draw) and start storyboarding a funny little skit. What does everybody else start doing? Watching me. I mean come on!! Try thinking for once, take the lead on something. Whatever, I just keep drawing and everybody is saying how much they like it but I'm saying "Don't go with mine just because I started first, do a power point, something!" No doing, they all had no ambition all of a sudden. No matter, single me out, all the glory, all the blame -- I can handle that.

Then, once I was done and we picked out the people to play the parts (I'm the big mean scary lawyer) this little prick who was just out of school starts coming up with all these new ideas at the last minute which would have been fine if they had been any good. He wanted to put pirates and lightsabers and video games into the damn thing! Now don't get me wrong, If I heard there were a video game with lightsaber wielding pirates in it, I'm first in line. But these were all just random thoughts, a stream of consciousness fueled by the 136 pixie sticks I am sure he had for lunch because he wouldn't shut up. Dude, when people walk away from you whenever you start talking it's because they don't want to hear it. He has all the ambition in the world but ambition without one good idea, or the willingness to try and improve on a bad idea, or the balls to actually do it, is worthless!

Day 2

Well, I got my first look at a patent application which, I can't tell you about. It's only a test run anyway. They basically gave us the application, some other applications and approved patents, the law and asked each group (I am in 7 of 8) "Does this pass?". Each group needs to have a write up by 10:45 tomorrow and then at 1:00 we have to defend our decisions against a bunch of scary lawyers.

Needless to say, I am not at all worried. I'm not even supposed to know what I am doing yet anyway so I can't do it wrong. The best part was when my group sat around and discussed whether or not it should pass. You know how I love the debate. There are some people I am going to have to set straight in the morning.

Finally made it to D.C.

I took the Metro into D.C. and was much more successful than I was with my car. I walked all up and down the National Mall and ended up inside a castle -- I never would have seen that coming. Turns out it was part of the Smithsonian (along with almost every other building on the Mall). It was pretty cool, I went into the National Archives too.

That place was filled with everything, even report cards from some past presidents, the hall for the Constitution was a pretty powerful place. It really makes you feel the grandness of the documents.

I walked to the Washington Monument which is taller than I ever expected. Unfortunately all of the (free) tickets were gone so I couldn't take the tour. I'll have to get there earlier next time. I ducked into the Natural History Museum but ducked right back out -- that place will take a whole day. Then onto the Lincoln Memorial but first the WWII Memorial.

The place is really amazing, absolutely beautiful but not without letting you know why it's there. It's almost smack dab in the middle between the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial, then the reflecting pool is between the WWII Memorial and the Lincoln Memorial. Click here for lots of pics.

Then I took the long walk along the Reflecting Pool to the Lincoln Memorial and it really reminds me of how the Greeks housed the statues of their Gods. A giant room accessible from only one side and when you walk in, Lincoln just dominates the entire space. It's really amazing. After that, I started walking back towards the National Mall to catch my train but on my way I saw that a National Park Ranger was giving a tour of the WWII Memorial. I only stayed for half of it because by then my feet hurt and I was pretty tired (I think i walked about 10 miles) so I left for home.

I'll leave you with one of my favorite pics of the day.

Being completely at fault doesn't make me any less mad

Well, I needed to go out to get some stuff and it was a nice day so I decided to go into D.C. and check out the Washington Memorial. Let me tell you, If you've never experienced a traffic cloverleaf.....................................don't!

It wouldn't be so bad even considering that they are everywhere if it weren't for the fact that if you don't merge with traffic in about 10 car lengths you're back on the freeway in the other direction. So you're doing about 25 mph on a 270 deg. turn and are expected to merge and accelerate to about 60 mph in 10 car lengths! Let's do a little math here:

10 car lengths = 140 ft
25 mph = 36.66 ft/sec
60 mph = 88 ft/sec

All this means that you have, with constant acceleration, between 2 and 3 seconds to merge into traffic -- and that's if there is even a spot. The penalty for failing in this attempt at lunacy is that you are now going the wrong direction and mad as hell. It was when I realized that me getting angrier and angrier was lowering my blood sugar that I decided it was time to call it quits. If the weather is still as nice as it was today, I'll try again tomorrow, but this time on the metro.

They love the cloverleaf so much here you'd think Thomas Jefferson was a God damned leprechaun.!

Finally done!!!

Well people, I am finally moved in and since posting pictures here is kind of a pain, I will put one here and put the rest on flickr

Said with a sarcastic yet sharply honed tongue

Ok, enough cracks about the pictures of boxes (for those of you who have been cracking). They are not just pictures of boxes, they have a purpose -- a picture is worth a 1000 words after all, here are a few of them...

The first picture of boxes was just to show you the enormity of what I was taking with me. The second picture of boxes (once in the apartment) is to show you the enormity of my genius. I mean, how many people do you know that can see a furnished apartment, once, and be able to tell immediately, while packing over 500 miles away, exactly what will fit and what won't? And how many people can write a grammatically correct run-on sentence like that one?

It takes pure genius in the art of spacial recognition to be able to pull off something like that, so lay off all you doubters! This includes all of you who questioned me taking that big desk which I successfully got into my 2nd floor apartment, no elevator, by myself. To prove the extent of my genius, I will be posting pictures of the apartment either tonight or tomorrow.

Things are moving forward

I got an e-mail from the US Patent & Trademark Office (from here on referred to as USPTO) today inviting me to fill out some thing that they need done before I start. Glad to know they still want me! The only thing is that I have to fill out dates and addresses of employment exactly the same way that I did in my application. I am pretty sure that I printed a hard copy of my application -- now I just have to sift through my boxes to find it to make sure that all of the info is the same.

I met my upstairs neighbors last night, Dee and Tony. Dee was down by my patio with a flashlight looking for a CD that Tony had dropped from above. No luck though, probably rolled under my patio, lost to the gremlins. They seemed nice though and Dee told me that I couldn't find a nicer complex to live in if I tried and she's been a VA resident for 27 years so I think I can trust her.

I am almost totally unpacked. There's 6 boxes left and then just general cleaning and sorting. It'll probably take a day just to get my desk in order (though I did buy a chair for it today, nice to be able to sit and type again). I promise to add pictures once I get everything put away where it goes instead of in the middle of the floor.

Moved! Sort of...

Well everybody, I made it safe and sound to Virginia. Moving in was kind of rough. I had help packing the truck on Saturday, got 2 hours of sleep and started the drive. I took three naps on the way; the third being the longest, a whole 90 minutes. I finally got to the apartment and was able to start moving in at 12:30.

About 4 hrs into the move, a cop came by and asked me about the car carrier in the road. Now I had parked the carrier in front of 3 empty parking spots. The cop said he had gotten a call and that if I didn't move the carrier he would have to cite me! I told him that I only had 2 other things to move out of the truck and that it would take longer to secure the stuff in the truck to allow me to use the truck to move the carrier than it would to just move my stuff and then use the truck. He said that I had to move it but I got the feeling that he knew this was a bullshit phone call. He wanted me to be able to finish moving my stuff, he just couldn't say that out loud.

Well, I got all my stuff moved in.
And I even got a cool new doormat.


And here's the view from my patio.
If you look really closely, there's actually a hole in that tree that you can see through!

So obviously, the cable guy came today which is how I can post this (this paragraph is not a link to anywhere, it made it a link through no fault of my own and I don't know how to un-do it yet). I am getting my entertainment center set up right now and I promise to post more later.

Moving Part II

Well, I leave in three days and I have nearly everything packed. That is, what I can pack. There's still towels and some clothes, food and toiletries but pretty much everything is in boxes. I'll still have to clean up my desk because it looks like a trash heap, maybe I'll have time to do that tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow, it's my going away party at work, well, at the bar really. I'm trying to get all my friends to leave early because I invited some people that were fired back in February and they are getting there early - it'll be a nice surprise for the guy who fired them!

Friday night I am going to dinner with Dad and then Saturday I leave. Looks like I've run out of days to get stuff done, I'll just have to stay up late tomorrow and try and fit it all in. I'll try and remember to post one last time before I leave for VA but after that I won't be able to until the 4th, expect lots of pictures.

First Post

Hey folks,
Here is my first ever post. I joined my friend Dave's website Readr and it inspired me to start a blog. If you go to Readr you'll find I have already started a flickr and you tube account. Readr's a pretty good way to keep track of all of those types of things so I figured why not?

Anyway, the blog is supposed to keep all of my buds up to date with my move to Virginia next weekend. It's getting pretty hectic this last week but one of the greatest things about the whole deal is that Melodi is getting the house in Detroit and that makes me very happy. If you don't know who Melodi is, you're missing out.

Anyway, I'll try to keep you all up to date and I will post pictures of the move and the new apartment once I get everything moved in.