I just had what I would call a very interesting movie going experience but before I get to that I have to tell you about possibly the greatest Christmas movie ever that is coming out this year, Christmas day. I think the producers timed the release perfectly. The movie is Aliens Vs. Predator - Requiem. The tag line is "In space, no one can hear you scream. On Earth, it doesn't matter." It's gonna' be great.
Anyway, on with the weirdness at the theater. I decided to see a horror double feature, Saw IV followed by 30 days of night. When I got into the theater for Saw IV, this guy had his 3 kids with him. Now keep in mind that this movie is basically about torturing people in graphic detail and I kid you not, at least one of those kids wasn't even alive when the first Saw came out. Then, It got even weirder, I saw a couple come in with at kid that wasn't alive in January! No kidding, an infant. I know this because Mom brought in a blanket so that she could breast feed during the movie. Now, I'm no psychologist, but if you ever were suckling on your Mother's teat while watching people get torn limb from limb there's probably not a whole lot of hope for you growing up to be a socially well adjusted person.
Another weird thing happened during both of these movies. Usually when people were being tortured or killed, the audience was laughing. It's like they had no empathy whatsoever. It's a bit distressing when an audience's reaction to a horrific torture scene is not to cringe and possibly think about what that character is feeling while being both mentally and physically put through the wringer (literally in one case), but to laugh. Granted at one point they were laughing at Josh Hartnett, but his acting wasn't that bad!
So, the rule is, if you're going to be a parent, don't do it in Virginia - it might make you retarded.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
Where's the dove with the olive branch already?
I got to Virginia on September 2nd and until 2 days ago it hadn't rained except for about 3 minutes one night. As of right now, it has been raining for 3 days straight. I don't mean on and off rain either, it has been raining every minute of every hour of the past 3 days. It goes between a downpour and a sprinkle but it's always raining. I brought my power tools with me, they're in the closet, so if I need to build an ark I'm ready.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Day I stopped counting -or- Is it possible to quantify awesome?
At work we have been working on our first Office Action. An Office Action is a patent examiner's (me) response to a patent application. We basically point out to the applicant the mistakes they made and why or why not their idea deserves a patent. Well, when you write this Office Action, a lot of the paragraphs have become so standard that you essentially copy and paste them into the document, other things you have to write yourself.
The hard part about these things is that it is a legal document which means that you have to be very careful about the words and language you choose to use. It actually does make a difference whether the examiner (me) or the applicant chooses to use the word "a" or the word "the". Needless to say, I was a bit nervous about writing one of these.
You begin with a blank page and dozens if not hundreds of these pre-written paragraphs to choose from. You not only have to decide which paragraph is the correct one to use based on what you found in the application but you also have to be able to say why it is the right paragraph. Our trainer said "Go write it up." so I jumped in.
I was very nearly done with it when the trainer sent us all an e-mail telling us to come to his office some time today and show him what we had written, I was the first one in his office. He looked it over and to my surprise he said it was of "Acceptable Quality". Now, that may not sound like much to all of you but that is the standard he told us to shoot for and I got it on my first one! He noted some minor mistakes that I needed to fix and told me how to fix a couple of areas that I had questions about but all in all, he said that it was a good Office Action. I was pretty damn proud to hear that.
Just a little side note, for those of you who think you are paying my salary, you know who you are and if you don't your names are Kelley, Jeff, Don and Gail, you're not paying my salary. The US Patent and Trademark Office is the only government institution that is totally fee funded. That means that all the money we use comes from the folks who pay to file a patent - so much so that once in a while Congress asks us for some. So there!
The hard part about these things is that it is a legal document which means that you have to be very careful about the words and language you choose to use. It actually does make a difference whether the examiner (me) or the applicant chooses to use the word "a" or the word "the". Needless to say, I was a bit nervous about writing one of these.
You begin with a blank page and dozens if not hundreds of these pre-written paragraphs to choose from. You not only have to decide which paragraph is the correct one to use based on what you found in the application but you also have to be able to say why it is the right paragraph. Our trainer said "Go write it up." so I jumped in.
I was very nearly done with it when the trainer sent us all an e-mail telling us to come to his office some time today and show him what we had written, I was the first one in his office. He looked it over and to my surprise he said it was of "Acceptable Quality". Now, that may not sound like much to all of you but that is the standard he told us to shoot for and I got it on my first one! He noted some minor mistakes that I needed to fix and told me how to fix a couple of areas that I had questions about but all in all, he said that it was a good Office Action. I was pretty damn proud to hear that.
Just a little side note, for those of you who think you are paying my salary, you know who you are and if you don't your names are Kelley, Jeff, Don and Gail, you're not paying my salary. The US Patent and Trademark Office is the only government institution that is totally fee funded. That means that all the money we use comes from the folks who pay to file a patent - so much so that once in a while Congress asks us for some. So there!
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Day 24
Somewhat uninspired today. Just feeling kind of tired. I got up at 4:30 to go get fresh donuts to sell at work for a charity drive that we are in the middle of. The thing that stinks is that the last dozen didn't sell so there wasn't that much profit in it. Oh well, I guess every little bit helps.
There was a notice on my door when I got home asking for more tutors for a local school. Since I have tomorrow off I think I will go and apply to be a math tutor. Hopefully it will be fun. It's only once a week so I should be able to handle it.
Like I said, uninspired, so I'm gonna' take off.
There was a notice on my door when I got home asking for more tutors for a local school. Since I have tomorrow off I think I will go and apply to be a math tutor. Hopefully it will be fun. It's only once a week so I should be able to handle it.
Like I said, uninspired, so I'm gonna' take off.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Day 23
I know, I know, I missed a day. You're just going to have to learn to overcome adversity. So here's what happened yesterday, I woke up to this:
I know, it looks like it's rotting (for definition of "it" see previous post). Wait, it gets better:
They break off like little tiles, this thing is amazing!! Since the tag said that the flavor is a cross between banana and pineapple I tried to break it like a banana -- no dice. The thing has a hard inner core so I ate it like corn on the cob. I have no idea if the core is edible or not. Here's the aftermath:
The tag was absolutely right about the flavor, the thing was delicious. It was also very, very acidic. My lips were stinging for minutes after I finished but it was totally worth it. Warning from Wikipedia: "When it first flowers, the fruit contains so much oxalic acid that it is poisonous, causing immediate and painful blistering and irritation, swelling, itching, and loss of voice. It takes a year for the fruit to ripen, at which point it is safe to eat." You've been warned. The sweetness of the banana and pineapple flavors outshine the acid. Once the tiles were off I could kind of make out that there were cells (for lack of a better word) of the flesh underneath, packed tightly together like an ear of corn.
It was also dry to the touch like when you first peel a banana but it was extremely juicy after I bit into it. Also, be prepared to floss. The individual "cells" of the fruit flesh are very good at getting between the teeth. All in all I would recommend it, though they are kind of expensive (mine was $4.99 though you may find them cheaper).
I don't know what you could make with it (I'm no cook). Keep in mind the high acid content if you try and cook with it, the acid may screw up whatever you are making unless the original recipe calls for a citrus fruit, then you'll probably be fine.
I'll keep trying to find weird stuff at the market, it's fun.
"Eating the weird, odd, and downright creepy so you don't have to since 2007"
I know, it looks like it's rotting (for definition of "it" see previous post). Wait, it gets better:
They break off like little tiles, this thing is amazing!! Since the tag said that the flavor is a cross between banana and pineapple I tried to break it like a banana -- no dice. The thing has a hard inner core so I ate it like corn on the cob. I have no idea if the core is edible or not. Here's the aftermath:
The tag was absolutely right about the flavor, the thing was delicious. It was also very, very acidic. My lips were stinging for minutes after I finished but it was totally worth it. Warning from Wikipedia: "When it first flowers, the fruit contains so much oxalic acid that it is poisonous, causing immediate and painful blistering and irritation, swelling, itching, and loss of voice. It takes a year for the fruit to ripen, at which point it is safe to eat." You've been warned. The sweetness of the banana and pineapple flavors outshine the acid. Once the tiles were off I could kind of make out that there were cells (for lack of a better word) of the flesh underneath, packed tightly together like an ear of corn.
It was also dry to the touch like when you first peel a banana but it was extremely juicy after I bit into it. Also, be prepared to floss. The individual "cells" of the fruit flesh are very good at getting between the teeth. All in all I would recommend it, though they are kind of expensive (mine was $4.99 though you may find them cheaper).
I don't know what you could make with it (I'm no cook). Keep in mind the high acid content if you try and cook with it, the acid may screw up whatever you are making unless the original recipe calls for a citrus fruit, then you'll probably be fine.
I'll keep trying to find weird stuff at the market, it's fun.
"Eating the weird, odd, and downright creepy so you don't have to since 2007"
Monday, October 15, 2007
Day 21
First of all, Don, I got your e-mail. I just have to find DoTM and update it before I can send it to you.
For the rest of you, let's forget work for a while. Here's a new piece of weird fruit for you.
The banana's there for a size comparison (the banana's about the length of my hand). It's called a monstera. Seriously. Don't believe me? Check the tag.
Now check out the weird hexagonal scales.
The tag says "The Delicious Monstera (monstera deliciosa) Monstera tastes like a cross between banana and pineapple. Use in salads, with cereal, drinks, shakes, sauces and a variety of desserts. Please wait for exterior green scales to fall away naturally then enjoy the creamy white flesh inch by inch. A tropical delight!"
No joke, that's what it says word for word. I'll let you know how it goes.
For the rest of you, let's forget work for a while. Here's a new piece of weird fruit for you.
The banana's there for a size comparison (the banana's about the length of my hand). It's called a monstera. Seriously. Don't believe me? Check the tag.
Now check out the weird hexagonal scales.
The tag says "The Delicious Monstera (monstera deliciosa) Monstera tastes like a cross between banana and pineapple. Use in salads, with cereal, drinks, shakes, sauces and a variety of desserts. Please wait for exterior green scales to fall away naturally then enjoy the creamy white flesh inch by inch. A tropical delight!"
No joke, that's what it says word for word. I'll let you know how it goes.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Day 20
Today in my lab we had to break into groups to discuss a few hypothetical patent applications but I got the guy who's straight outta' school and wants to talk about video games above all else. I'm all for the v.g. confab but you're at work. You're supposed to work. That's why they call it work.
Knowing that yelling at somebody is unprofessional, I kept my cool and calmly asked him to return to the matter at hand, which he did. Unfortunately he was doing a half-ass job of it. Not to mention all he did was talk while I was trying to read the material -- very annoying. No matter, our trainer cut us loose early so everything is cool.
Knowing that yelling at somebody is unprofessional, I kept my cool and calmly asked him to return to the matter at hand, which he did. Unfortunately he was doing a half-ass job of it. Not to mention all he did was talk while I was trying to read the material -- very annoying. No matter, our trainer cut us loose early so everything is cool.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Day 19
Today was kind of weird. We had a lecturer in our lab and she's been there before but I think she was high the whole time today. First off, she was just acting odd, asking us questions about stuff she hadn't taught us yet. She would just sit there waiting for an answer and we had no idea what she was talking about. The thing that topped it off though is that she didn't know how to spell "relay". You know, like the race, or what you do with a message, or an electromagnetic switch. That was just plain odd.
Then, this one guy in the class was answering a question of hers and in his answer he needed to use the word apparatus but he pronounced it really weird. Phonetically it was "uh pair uh tiss". I'm not kidding. Then she said it correctly in her response to him and another trainee said it correctly but he insisted on saying it as though his lunch contained lead paint.
Luckily, our speaker at the end of the day was a guest lecturer and he was very entertaining. He left us feeling pretty good about what we were doing there and he was funny to boot. Altogether a fairly odd day.
Then, this one guy in the class was answering a question of hers and in his answer he needed to use the word apparatus but he pronounced it really weird. Phonetically it was "uh pair uh tiss". I'm not kidding. Then she said it correctly in her response to him and another trainee said it correctly but he insisted on saying it as though his lunch contained lead paint.
Luckily, our speaker at the end of the day was a guest lecturer and he was very entertaining. He left us feeling pretty good about what we were doing there and he was funny to boot. Altogether a fairly odd day.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Day 18 (I Love To Debate!)
I got my first paycheck over the weekend and man, did it feel good to pay some bills! One day last week I got a call from Discover, Student Loans and the mortgage company for the house in Detroit (the damn thing still hasn't sold yet)!
Now, I just have to basically make double payments on everything forever. Actually, I am hoping to be very nearly clear of credit card debt in a year's time. Unfortunately I can't do the same with my student loan -- that one may take a while.
I finally got to start on a patent application for real today -- there's so much to do. Fortunately though, a lot of the writing is prewritten, they call it a form paragraph. You just insert the correct form paragraph and then fill in the appropriate blanks, it's a pretty awesome system. The hard part is searching the huge database for previous inventions that match the application. I'm just learning as much as I can.
Had a fun little debate/spirited discussion with my trainer today. I had a question about something and couldn't get a straight answer out of him, he kept going off track. It took almost 40 minutes for me to craft the question so finely that he understood exactly what I wanted answered and yet the question didn't allow him to elaborate. We got there eventually and then everything was crystal clear to me. It was fun.
Now, I just have to basically make double payments on everything forever. Actually, I am hoping to be very nearly clear of credit card debt in a year's time. Unfortunately I can't do the same with my student loan -- that one may take a while.
I finally got to start on a patent application for real today -- there's so much to do. Fortunately though, a lot of the writing is prewritten, they call it a form paragraph. You just insert the correct form paragraph and then fill in the appropriate blanks, it's a pretty awesome system. The hard part is searching the huge database for previous inventions that match the application. I'm just learning as much as I can.
Had a fun little debate/spirited discussion with my trainer today. I had a question about something and couldn't get a straight answer out of him, he kept going off track. It took almost 40 minutes for me to craft the question so finely that he understood exactly what I wanted answered and yet the question didn't allow him to elaborate. We got there eventually and then everything was crystal clear to me. It was fun.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Day 17
So over the long weekend I decided to check out the George Washington Masonic Memorial. It's very near the apartment and I wanted to try and figure out all the secrets of the Freemasons. Well, needless to say, there are no secrets -- at least that's what they've been programmed to tell me.
It was a very impressive building. It's a giant 9 story tower and when you get to the top after riding an elevator that is at a 7.5 degree angle (the building tapers to the top) there's an observation deck. It's pretty awesome, you can see the Capitol from there as well as the Washington Memorial.
You can see more pics here
It was a very impressive building. It's a giant 9 story tower and when you get to the top after riding an elevator that is at a 7.5 degree angle (the building tapers to the top) there's an observation deck. It's pretty awesome, you can see the Capitol from there as well as the Washington Memorial.
You can see more pics here
Friday, October 5, 2007
Day 14
Today, I found out about my new scheduling opportunities. Right now we are on the 5/4/9 schedule. What that means is that in a 2 week pay period (a bi-week) in the first week we work 9 hrs Monday - Thursday and have Friday off and then the next week we work 9 hrs Monday - Thursday and then 8 on Friday. Pretty sweet right? Tomorrow is my first Friday off and then we have Monday off for Columbus Day, so 3 weeks in and I get my first 4 day weekend.
In a couple of months, the 4/10 schedule will be available to us which means 4 days a week, 10 hrs a day and you get to choose if you want Monday, Wednesday or Friday off! That's pretty much the best schedule I've ever heard of. Not much else, just thought I'd rub it in by telling you all how great this job is so far! There'll be no day 15 or 16 updates about work because I have those days off. Ha ha (a la Nelson Muntz).
In a couple of months, the 4/10 schedule will be available to us which means 4 days a week, 10 hrs a day and you get to choose if you want Monday, Wednesday or Friday off! That's pretty much the best schedule I've ever heard of. Not much else, just thought I'd rub it in by telling you all how great this job is so far! There'll be no day 15 or 16 updates about work because I have those days off. Ha ha (a la Nelson Muntz).
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Day 13
No real news from work (aced another quiz though). This is the first week of our new schedule though. That means I get Friday off. We also get Monday off because of Columbus Day -- my first 4 day weekend!! I thought about coming home to Michigan but it's a pretty serious drive. Essentially 2 days of that 4 day weekend would be spent driving so I think I'll pass.
I'll probably spend more time in DC, I still have to go see the Natural History Museum, that's pretty much a full day right there.
I found a post in my building asking for tutors for elementary kids that I think I might do. Maybe those years spent pursuing a degree in Elementary Education won't be wasted after all! If I decide to do it I'll let you know how it goes.
I'll probably spend more time in DC, I still have to go see the Natural History Museum, that's pretty much a full day right there.
I found a post in my building asking for tutors for elementary kids that I think I might do. Maybe those years spent pursuing a degree in Elementary Education won't be wasted after all! If I decide to do it I'll let you know how it goes.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Day 12 (PHOSITA)
Well, I have learned my longest acronym to date and thank goodness because they kept saying this phrase and printing it over and over again. PHOSITA = Person Having Ordinary Skill In The Art. In this sense, "Art" is the particular discipline you work in. For example, if you were checking patent applications in the Bio-Tech arena then a PHOSITA would likely have a Ph.D., but if you were checking a patent application for guitar picks then a PHOSITA might only have a high school education.
It's one of the tests we use to help determine if the applicant has given us enough so that a PHOSITA would be able to re-create their invention. If not then they don't get the patent. We use PHOSITA for a few other tests too but you're already bored so I'll stop here.
It's one of the tests we use to help determine if the applicant has given us enough so that a PHOSITA would be able to re-create their invention. If not then they don't get the patent. We use PHOSITA for a few other tests too but you're already bored so I'll stop here.
Monday, October 1, 2007
Day 11
I had my first meeting for the CFC today. It's a campaign to raise money for 3600 charities through federal employee donations. Amazingly it raised 59.9 million last year. Pretty cool to be a part of it -- Just pile on the responsibility!! I can take it!
It should be pretty cool, I'll get to meet all kinds of people in the USPTO because I need to go and beg them for money. Unfortunately, I had to miss part of a lecture to go the the CFC meeting today, but I'll catch up, don't worry about it.
It should be pretty cool, I'll get to meet all kinds of people in the USPTO because I need to go and beg them for money. Unfortunately, I had to miss part of a lecture to go the the CFC meeting today, but I'll catch up, don't worry about it.
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